Peeved

peeve

informal

verb

past tense: peeved; past participle: peeved

1.

make (someone) rather annoyed; irritate.

"he was peeved at being excluded from the meeting"

I've had  quite a week this week, I've conquered some fears, I've done a clear out and yet I have come away with the overwhelming feeling of an anticlimax.

My friends are climbing Mount. Kilimanjaro for Childreach (a UK Charity) so on Tuesday we had a sponsored climb, where all of our climbing club (and anyone else) could climb as many walls as they like in the aim to overall climb the height of Kili.

Due to my lack of cardio and general laziness, I do tend to struggle doing multiple climbs in a row, however I utterly smashed it on Tuesday and did 18 Climbs in a row, so I was mega-pleased! Overall she raised £140.00 which is good, but we had hoped for better!

After that.... I spent the entirety of yesterday clearing out clothes I never have/never will wear again. Which was a task and half let me tell you! It's only made a slight dent but still if I do it again in a few weeks; hopefully I'll have an excuse to go shopping!

But all of these good for the soul things have been completely overtaken by my mood of general annoyance all week, It has literally been the most emotionally and mentally exhausting week of my life. I made myself a promise that once I came to university, I'd try and act more chilled out and go with the flow. But all I have noticed is that it's just not me.
If I have an exam, I have to study like a maniac overnight, I like to plan things and know exactly what I'm doing, even if its in ten minutes or ten years time. I like things being organised and I like knowing where I stand with people.

I've been having a tough time at the moment, I'm tired, I'm stressed and generally in a state of unhappiness pretty much all day, so I'm thinking of ways to take time out and realised that there really isn't any apart from sitting in my room, hiding away from the world for a few days. I actually had a panic attack over losing something yesterday; what has my life come to?
Hopefully I'll cheer up next week, cause I'm tired of feeling constantly on edge and nervous.


G x

2013.

Since I was a little girl, I have always been told to respect my elders. Namely, my family; Mum and Dad.

I'm a bit of an oddball of society, I was raised by a man once my parents decided to split when I was 3 years old. I've always seen my mother and had regular contact with her, however as I have got older, I've begin to realise that respecting is a two way thing, the age has nothing to do with it.

This is by no means my echo of society, I love my family, I really do, but at times, I struggle to like them. To me that is an awful big difference. I'm 19 years old, I have my whole life ahead of me, yet neither are interested in my life, they don't care what I do, but the moment I do, do something they are the first to criticise. It breaks my heart that they are like that; I'm their only daughter and quite frankly one of the only things they have to boast about, yet they chose not to.

A perfect example is this new year. I work at a harbour side pub; I work NYE just like every other person within the trade... however originally I was meant to be going back to my mothers on friday for the remainder of my break from Uni. Instead this morning I was woken up with a phone call from her saying my father had rang her, telling her to pick my up New Years Day.

I am nineteen.

 The fact that they believe they can pass me around like they could when I was five hurts. I feel sick with anger and humiliation. Maybe I sound very childish and typical tween anger (i really hope not) but this blog is my place to vent as well as be creative.

2013 has been a ridiculously tough year, I took my A level exams, got into university, moved out from my hometown, lost contact with my oldest friends, broke someones heart, fell in love, drank so much that I'm fairly certain my liver is packing up, been on a emotional roller coaster regarding my bodyweight and been through absolute torment and a very near mental breakdown. (literal, not metaphorical)

I wish i could say I enjoyed every moment, however I'd much rather wipe 2013 off as a painful year never to mentioned again, I deserve to be happy and it is time I cut the dead people away from me and start living for myself; not anyone else.

My gran once said to me;

Georgia, You are beautiful, intelligent and exactly the kind of person this world needs, do not waste your chance, grab it and enjoy

 I miss her.
G