Here and Now

A friend of mine suggested writing a letter to myself for exactly how I am now, how i'm feeling and then in a year see how far I've come.

Dear Georgia

It's very odd writing to myself. I'm sure when I look back on this someday I'll laugh at how hopelessly awkward I am, and probably will always be. It's not been a great few days really.

I just found out about Kippy (bit painful to write the whole name tbh)  and It really really sucks. I've always had pride in myself that I never really ever get told no. I remember taking my driving test, failing and then not driving for 6 months because you were so angry at yourself.

And I feel like that now, I hate failing let alone at something that should have been so easy and perfect. Maybe my judgement of character is off.

I don't want to dwell cause i'll just work myself up more to be honest. I start work in an hour and have no energy to go. I just wanna curl up, put on netflix and mope. Instead I'm playing Let it go and singing it at the top of my lungs hoping it'll cheer me up.

Everything is going alright with the love life. Matt's wonderful and brilliant and just being his usual self, despite the fact he's having a harder time than most at the moment. It's frustrating that I can't be more help or can't see him cause we've both kinda spent all our money. whoop.

My overdraft has taken a battering, but I keep reminding myself to breathe and it'll be okay, I'm a student, i' gunna be poor or spend money I don't have, I'm just a  bit gutted I didn't have as much as I thought I did.

The no smoking is going well, though after todays news I really want a cigarette, it'll be curious to see if I manage to prevent myself. I can't guess what the future me is doing by now?

I can't think of what else to say. Not a lot has changed apart from I feel a bit not me at the moment, hopefully I'll fix that after christmas, I'll feel like i have purpose and doing ym course wasn't such a massive mistake. I could re-do my uni years but then again.... is it worth it?

I'm majorly paniccing about my future. I have no idea what I want to do with anything. I'm praying I get an answer soon. That would be nice. It might help me get some sleep, 4 hours a night is not helping me!

Until You read this Future me!

G x