Only cause I know you'll read this...

Despite dying from what feels like the black death, i'm alone at the flat today, which is horrible. BUT Matt is home is roughly an hour & im quite excited. 

We were lazing around last night before bed, talking about reading & other pointless topics when i remembered something. 

The things we have been through in the last two years massively outweigh what some couples go through in forty. The fact I can come out the otherside and still say i love him more than i ever could have imagine loving another human being still startles me. 

In my inbox i have a lot of his old messages still saved to my phone. I read them all today and they completely overwhelmed me. I'm not quite sure how I got so lucky and how everything panned out just how I wanted but madly enough he was right. ( dont tell him i said that)  

Despite the fact I'm going back London bound next week, Im holding strong in the faith that everything will be fine, that we can get theough this. 

After all 6 minths is a walk in the park compared to two years. 

❤️

Whats, Ifs and Maybes.

I've had a lovely weekend for anyone who pays the slightest bit of attention to my rambling, I got to go home, and spend the most awesome weekend with my friends and as he was introduced to many my 'better half'.
We did nearly got robbed ... and when i say nearly I mean we did get robbed and merely were lucky enough to find everything which had been stolen apart from a Purse. The meal was good, the dancing was good and quite frankly everything was good good good. On the sunday, I managed to get some time alone with one of my friends who I then spent grilling about his life seeing as he is of the majority an enigma of a person and I was completely satisfied with my answers. It made me think though; If I could have the knowledge I have now at times in the past where it could have helped having hindsight, would I have made different choices.

I've spent the good part of a few days thinking about this, and my conclusion... isn't really a conclusion. I have many regrets of things I have seemed to have done in a relatively short time. I regret letting some people out of my life more than others and there are choices I have made which every once in a while make me think about my entire view on life.

I don't mean to hurt people with my choices, but seem to periodically, I think about whether or not I've made the right decision in a lot of things but All i can hope is i'll get some kind of redemption and one day I'll be entirely happy with everything in my life!

On a happier note, My cousin has had her baby woo! sadly I can't go and visit due to having no bloody money so instead I'll grit my teeth, send a card and wait patiently for my final student loan to come through!!!

Till next time...

g x

Peeved

peeve

informal

verb

past tense: peeved; past participle: peeved

1.

make (someone) rather annoyed; irritate.

"he was peeved at being excluded from the meeting"

I've had  quite a week this week, I've conquered some fears, I've done a clear out and yet I have come away with the overwhelming feeling of an anticlimax.

My friends are climbing Mount. Kilimanjaro for Childreach (a UK Charity) so on Tuesday we had a sponsored climb, where all of our climbing club (and anyone else) could climb as many walls as they like in the aim to overall climb the height of Kili.

Due to my lack of cardio and general laziness, I do tend to struggle doing multiple climbs in a row, however I utterly smashed it on Tuesday and did 18 Climbs in a row, so I was mega-pleased! Overall she raised £140.00 which is good, but we had hoped for better!

After that.... I spent the entirety of yesterday clearing out clothes I never have/never will wear again. Which was a task and half let me tell you! It's only made a slight dent but still if I do it again in a few weeks; hopefully I'll have an excuse to go shopping!

But all of these good for the soul things have been completely overtaken by my mood of general annoyance all week, It has literally been the most emotionally and mentally exhausting week of my life. I made myself a promise that once I came to university, I'd try and act more chilled out and go with the flow. But all I have noticed is that it's just not me.
If I have an exam, I have to study like a maniac overnight, I like to plan things and know exactly what I'm doing, even if its in ten minutes or ten years time. I like things being organised and I like knowing where I stand with people.

I've been having a tough time at the moment, I'm tired, I'm stressed and generally in a state of unhappiness pretty much all day, so I'm thinking of ways to take time out and realised that there really isn't any apart from sitting in my room, hiding away from the world for a few days. I actually had a panic attack over losing something yesterday; what has my life come to?
Hopefully I'll cheer up next week, cause I'm tired of feeling constantly on edge and nervous.


G x

Keep An Eye On: MYFLASHTRASH

It's quite rare these days to find a website where everyone you know isn't buying from it. It saves risky matching outfits and specifically jewellery. I love bracelets, they have always been my thing! However, as I have got older, I've noticed that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find anything unique or fancy without a OTT price tag OR completely general with every other high street shop. 

I thought I'd share my knowledge with you; My Flash Trash

This website has been an utter life saver, I hate shopping, especially now I live in London! The thought of going anywhere busy makes me shudder let alone to shop admits hunger mad fashion icons and about 100 girls who are skinnier than I am! 

However, I digress...

These are just some of my favourite which have just been added to the New In section. 

Gold Spoon Earrings: £12.00

These are utterly adorable, A little quirky yet still register an elegant feel! I've currently got these on delivery so I am super excited! 

Star Sign Midi Ring: £12.00

 I've fallen in love with midi rings! They suit elegant smaller finger, which are possibly one of my only defining features (despite my love for biting my nails!) These come in all star signs and at £12 I know it's a bit of a splurge, but it is on something personal! 

Pug Diamante Iphone Case £15.00

 This is such a guilty pleasure for me! I can't help but love iPhone cases, but since ebay only seems to offer ridiculously generic ones these days I am more than happy to fork out an extra few quid for one which is extra special. And I love pugs! (Hazard Bizarre PICK!)

Finally...

Pink Coco's tea Party bracelet. £15.00

 I know! expensive for a bracelet! However, it is currently on a BOGOF deal! Which makes it awesome value when hunting for xmas or birthday presents! They come in all sorts of colours so have a root around! 

I hope this has introduced you to a new kind of shopping! Happy shopping guys! 

G

The Youtube Files ; Would You Rather

When I'm not busy doing bugger all around my flat, I quite like to make youtube video's, it is a slow process as I never know what to talk about! HOWEVER. Tonight I have got to the point of being so bored and perusing youtube that I decided to bite the bullet and make my second video; I have literally no subscribers SO. 

Here it is: A Tag Video of Would You Rather! 

Would You Rather: TAG EDITION


G x

NekNominateFlappyWhat?

I'm fairly safe to say that the world is now built around the internet. Nothing is left unturned and every single day a new craze begins. My childhood consisted of scoobydoo's, pokemon cars and god forbid an hour on my gameboy a night! 

A prime example of times ch-ch-ch-changinnnng (thanks bowie!) includes the madness that I encountered during one of my visits to a restaurant the other day. Can I clarify now that I am not a weird technophobe! I own just about every gameboy and apple product known to man and I just love my time alone locked away from the sun! HOWEVER, i witnessed a family of four sat around a table, all of which practically connected to their mobile devices/tablets. The mother and father looked like drones, tapping idly away, she'd most likely looking at other men on tindr, whilst the man is watching the sky sport updates like a hawk obsessed! 

What struck me was the children, they must have only been around 5/6, and at what should be a magical happy brilliant time of their life, making memories with their family, instead they were glued to the screen of a tablet watching spongebob. 

It makes me sad that our lives are slowly divulging into media madness! Which leads me on to two topics which have RAISED HAVOC amongst the internet community. 

Facebook is currently covered in video's, since Vine encouraged more people to video themselves, suddenly everyone is no longer camera shy! However, this has turned out to be a blessing and curse. Our maytes (sorry i am really shocking at accents;)) down under have started a craze of getting a pint glass, filling it with unimaginably stupid things and following the traditional teenage demand of 'downing it'. 

I have watched and also partaken in this activity... and I have seen some horrors! The saddest of it all is that actually several people have died. However, this then opened a minefield of parental madness! They have swarmed our deeply hidden Facebook walls and are now going hellbent on stopping NEKNOMINATIONS from happening. Although justified, I have some issues. 

After reading the articles... I have a few issues. 

1) These people drank stupid amount of alcohol, intact some mixed poisonous substances in with their drinks. 

2) They all went out afterwards, undoubtedly drinking much much more. 

3) There are no rules to NekNominate, In fact, nothing states that you have to drink any alcohol at all! 

I know, with all this being said, I am sorry to hear about the death of these individuals but it all comes down the case of that they had a choice. I've had friends drink AWFUL amounts of alcohol, I have also had friends that have drank merely a pint of water! The decision of what to drink is the individuals fault and therefore their responsibility! Which is why it has angered me that various people have taken to the web and began brandishing all teenagers idiots when I am fairly sure that most adults have drank a lot more and a lot worse on a night out as kids themselves. 

I'm probably going to make a youtube video about this for the record! 

That leads me on to the final part of internet madness this week! 

Anyone know of this little guy? 

If you don't then you have probably been living under a rock! 

This game has released bedlam within app markets and could actually be known as one of the most addictive games of all time... 

sorry i got distracted...

Despite its rubbish graphics and frankly most mundane game plot ever, Flappy Bird caused a storm when it went viral and nearly everyone was playing this game! However, it has been removed by its maker due to the trouble it also caused! 

My favourite part about this game is that since being removed, an iPhone still containing it makes a gold mine, on Ebay, an iPhone with the game still installed sold for £50,000 today! oh you humans! you make me so proud! 

Until Next time, Stay safe, avoid rubbish games and for god sakes put your phone down once in a while ;)

G 

Society's Flaws. (This is not because I'm not a size 8)

Since I was a young girl, I have always been happy. I like food, I enjoy the amazing things it can do, the sense of accomplishment you get when you've cooked an amazing meal. I also know that the culture I have been raised into has shown the biggest increase in people eating fast food, and showing the ever expanding waistlines, especially in the UK and our cousins across the pond.

I'm more than happy to admit that I am 'over weight' and this isn't some fat girl crying about being thin, I believe that girls who are naturally very skinny deal wight he same anger at wanting to achieve this 'Perfect' Body.  So i just want to state that again, THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK ON SKINNY/LARGER/MEDIUM/ANY TYPE of girl. Or guy.

I was scrolling through my Facebook this morning and I came across a video called Instagrams Most Famous Butt. And it actually made me feel really sad, this woman stated about how she felt that she was trying to make the world healthy, that it 'touched' her that she saw girls went to the gym every day for a mont just to look like her. This made me feel physically ill, she's an attractive lady, no doubt a very lovely person, however what i am not down with is how they explained she got to the place she has.

Jen works out every morning/day for a hard work out, including eating loads of small meals a day to keep her metabolism up. 

 Not everyone can do that, some of us have other commitments be it 9-5 jobs, apprenticeships, university, or even home commitments, most of us can't afford the gym every single day or afford to do the type of shopping for food which allows women like her to get like that. Though honestly, the thing that upset me the most is that Rihanna is one of her followers. She's practically endorsing this sort of body image which led many men in the video to say Why can't there be more woman like her?

Maybe its my very small feminist voice shouting, or maybe I'm moaning about nothing, but every woman should be seen as beautiful, granted, we all have preferences to what we want in our eventual life partners, however it is wrong to suggest that everyone should look the same.

Finally. She got her fame through posting pictures of her bum, to me... thats not exactly a dignified way to shoot towards stardom.

G

Addiction

addiction

əˈdɪkʃ(ə)n/

noun

1.

the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity.

Cheers for that one Google. 

I don't ever think of myself addicted to anything. I mean, I'm a smoker (quitting one my e-cig arrives may i add), I drink, I've eaten a lot of junk food in the past, but by no means would I ever think of myself as addicted to these things. 

In the controversial debate, Matthew Perry referred to addiction being an allergy. I don't really see it like that either, though i can understand his view. 

I think emotions play a much bigger role in the things you are addicted to. I'd consider my significant other as something I am addicted to. The intensity of one look leaves me craving more, and reduces me to my basic human instinct. He's very.. passionate and free and fun loving and I'm usually slightly envious that I can't be like that more often. But he is one of a kind and he means more than the world to me. again... addicted. 

I've began to notice I hold a addiction to literature. All kinds, books, autobiographies, web entries, fan fiction or even just a simple quote. I've become more emotionally invested in some fictional characters than I have about the passing of a relative. A bit harsh I guess. 

But i think literature does that for a reason, to completely immerse yourself in a world which is imaginary is such a beautiful gift and one of the biggest things I miss about my childhood. 

I'm addicted to the feeling of completing a book, of the sorrow you feel that you cannot relive that adventure, I refer to it as a Book Hangover but other people may have many other versions. 

To round this little thought process up, I don't think i could ever view addiction as a bad thing, not personally. I think addiction is what keeps you alive, whether it is a love or even your favourite fictional place. 

I lied. I have one addiction at the moment. 

Save Rock and Roll: FALL OUT BOY (2013)

I wish i could re listen to this album and hear it like i did the first time, its crept beneath my skin and is possibly the best thing to come out of the music industry in 2013! 

I want to see your animal side. 

reminds me of lions. ha. 

G

2013.

Since I was a little girl, I have always been told to respect my elders. Namely, my family; Mum and Dad.

I'm a bit of an oddball of society, I was raised by a man once my parents decided to split when I was 3 years old. I've always seen my mother and had regular contact with her, however as I have got older, I've begin to realise that respecting is a two way thing, the age has nothing to do with it.

This is by no means my echo of society, I love my family, I really do, but at times, I struggle to like them. To me that is an awful big difference. I'm 19 years old, I have my whole life ahead of me, yet neither are interested in my life, they don't care what I do, but the moment I do, do something they are the first to criticise. It breaks my heart that they are like that; I'm their only daughter and quite frankly one of the only things they have to boast about, yet they chose not to.

A perfect example is this new year. I work at a harbour side pub; I work NYE just like every other person within the trade... however originally I was meant to be going back to my mothers on friday for the remainder of my break from Uni. Instead this morning I was woken up with a phone call from her saying my father had rang her, telling her to pick my up New Years Day.

I am nineteen.

 The fact that they believe they can pass me around like they could when I was five hurts. I feel sick with anger and humiliation. Maybe I sound very childish and typical tween anger (i really hope not) but this blog is my place to vent as well as be creative.

2013 has been a ridiculously tough year, I took my A level exams, got into university, moved out from my hometown, lost contact with my oldest friends, broke someones heart, fell in love, drank so much that I'm fairly certain my liver is packing up, been on a emotional roller coaster regarding my bodyweight and been through absolute torment and a very near mental breakdown. (literal, not metaphorical)

I wish i could say I enjoyed every moment, however I'd much rather wipe 2013 off as a painful year never to mentioned again, I deserve to be happy and it is time I cut the dead people away from me and start living for myself; not anyone else.

My gran once said to me;

Georgia, You are beautiful, intelligent and exactly the kind of person this world needs, do not waste your chance, grab it and enjoy

 I miss her.
G

Raggedy Jumper.

I haven't thought of a title to this post yet, i probably won't until i finish writing this. For many of us whovians, mainly the UK right now, we've all just witnessed The Time of the Doctor.

There are a billion and one things i could talk about, but i mainly wanted to focus on Matt, after all, this episode was his sign off and his good bye, and what a spectacular one it was. Moffat neatly (though a little hurriedly) tied off the loose ends, the fear behind the door in God Complex and the b;aster crack in the wall which has been hunting him down since his first ever episode.

To me, thats the beauty of Doctor Who/ The beauty of Matt and Moffat's writing. The fact that th crack in the wall has continuously followed him through his time as our beloved time lord.

Although I remain saying that David Tennant was my Doctor, Matt Smith brought youth and old age together perfectly, he is truly a master of a script and he has created more tearjerkers than any other Doctor I have seen. Losing Matt is like losing your favourite Jumper, despite being mis shaped, a bit holey and odd, it is comforting, heartwarming, and devastating when you realise you have to let go.

His regeneration was all I could have hoped for, and my god were we treated. The last minute of Doctor Who makes me shudder and weep. Amelia Pond running through the TARDIS, swiftly followed by the first and last face he would ever see.
Matt Smith has been every little girls raggedy man, yet even more so the most uplifting, quirky, idiotic man boy that has graced the show, And I for one will miss him. Capaldi has suddenly just been given a bigger set of shoes to step into... God help him.

I just thought of the title. It stands true by every principle, and every particle of Matt's character. His energy will be missed. so much that I'm worried what the future has to offer... I think Moffats clock is striking...

The Quest for an Internship.

Since a young age I have always looked waaaay into the future! I hate not knowing what comes next, so I had a moment of clarity today in my lecture; I need to find work experience. 

It's a common concept that the film industry is incredibly huge, however to be anyone in that industry you need contacts! And how do you make contacts? Internships, work shadowing and other various methods! I want a fast pass, and when i do finish my degree and become a graduate; i would desperately like to have my life just a little bit easier and have a few contacts knocking around I can ask to lend me a hand! 

In summer next year; an internship would be amazon, and i want a decent one too, i know they're highly competitive, but whats the harm in trying? You have to reach out fully to grasp what you want in life between two hands and that is exactly what i am going to do! 

In other news...
 I did it! I've made a debut youtube video, it's only brief and a basic explanation about me as a person, however it's helping me practice editing techniques and thinking much more about both pre and post production ( a valuable skill within my course!). Fingers crossed it'll get some interest; it's currently uploading itself at the speed of one snail per hour but when it has uploaded, I'll link it in and you guys are more than welcome to have a gander and meet the girl behind this blog. 

Hope everyone is keeping well!

G